I really agree with this chapter. If you choose to see kids in a negative light, your students will jump on the bandwagon and this makes it worse. Some kids have gotten so deep into how they act, it has defined their essence. It's so important to recognize their real worth so they feel it.
I prefer to use the "I love how Willamena is blah-de-blahing" strategy. I also talk about what is expected in a given situation tell them and model for them how to act. Sometimes, people really don't know how to act in a particular situation.
This chapter made me think about teachers, parents, and other bystanders' observations about our students and classroom environment. As humans, it is in our nature to judge situations without completely thinking through each piece of the puzzle. How many times have other adults entered our rooms, and we can sense their immediate reaction? Perceiving students in a positive or negative light is totally in our control, and I feel it is the adults' job to stand up for our students! If we all have negative attitudes and let our bad days stand in the way of progress, then how are our students ever going to believe in themselves?
I see this in me when dealing with my own child. I tend to say negative things rather that helpful. I have found myself stopping and thinking about what I say before I do it. It is so true that words can really hurt children and shape them into something they are not.
Theresa, I agree with you! I spent an hour at VVMS today talking with the teachers of one of our former students. They couldn't see beyond the negative and their reactions had pushed the student into proving them right. They were missing the "light" that the student had to offer. It was great to be able to help the student shine for them.
I believe it's part of our 'vocation' to find the 'good' and the 'light' in every child. Jo's right. On the days when it's difficult to do so, the problem must lie within us, not the child. Whenever I start getting 'bugged' I always think to myself, "look with new eyes". It lengthens my short fuse and softens my quick judgment.
I do agree with this. We need to step back and look at how we perceive things. We seem to get judgemental regarding how our students act and how other adults act. I like the statement that "all of us are valuable in our own right, regardless of our act".
This statement never corrects the behavior. A child will think "If she's tired of seeing me behave this way, I'll make sure she doesn't see me doing it then" It's also the same way when you ask someone to stop a negative behavior. When you say "No blurting out" - the student hears "I think she said blurting out!" Be careful how you word your requests!
It has been demonstrated that if 10 people witness an incident, there will be 10 different perspectives of what happened. In our busy days it may be hard to step back and take a longer look at just what we are “seeing”. I also think we need to be cognizant that our students will see a situation or behavior from their perspective and act accordingly.
This hits home with a few of our students and hearing conversations about them. It is possible to see students as troublemakers when it is a cry out for help. Perception is truly a choice.
I also liked this chapter. How we perceive each student is totally up to us. It made me think of when the new class lists come out and how we may get a preconceived notion about a child just because of things other teachers may have said about them. You are already expecting that child to misbehave...and they will.
It is far easier to criticize than it is to look outside the box and reevaluate what is happening. I believe that teachers and parents should make a better effort to look for the positive, rather than what could be wrong.
This selection hit home with me! When I react negatively toward a student for their words or actions, I need to check my own perception. I do believe that we are all much more than "our act" and that most of us just want to be loved and accepted.
I once heard the saying "Stop acting your age!" as a joke to a child, but it really hit home with me. That is exactly what children should do, act their ages, have fun, and even test their boundaries. As educators, we have an opportunity to not judge their behavior but shape and mold it with positive words. Some kids crave attention and they will seek it whether it is positive or negative.
I also agree with this message and know it to be true in the classroom and in our personal lives. I believe that we learn from every experience whether we view it as positive, or a negative lesson. However, it is much easier to deal with life when we look at experiences as blessings rather than problems. As a result, when we step back and ask "What is this message telling me"? Our observations and our experiences take on a whole new meaning.
During the beginning of each year you always hear from parents and teachers about certain students who will be attending your class and are perceived in a negative way. I listen respectfully, but in the end when these students arrive in my classroom they all have a clean slate in our learning environment. I have found that what works best with students who have behavior issues is listen to them and help guide them to make a change in their life. It takes time, persistence and patience from the teacher. The student makes the change because they have trust in you and you took the time to listen, care about them, and guided them in correcting a behavior which transformed them into a more positive and confident person in the learning environment.
18 Comments:
I really agree with this chapter. If you choose to see kids in a negative light, your students will jump on the bandwagon and this makes it worse. Some kids have gotten so deep into how they act, it has defined their essence. It's so important to recognize their real worth so they feel it.
I prefer to use the "I love how Willamena is blah-de-blahing" strategy.
I also talk about what is expected in a given situation tell them and model for them how to act. Sometimes, people really don't know how to act in a particular situation.
This chapter made me think about teachers, parents, and other bystanders' observations about our students and classroom environment. As humans, it is in our nature to judge situations without completely thinking through each piece of the puzzle. How many times have other adults entered our rooms, and we can sense their immediate reaction? Perceiving students in a positive or negative light is totally in our control, and I feel it is the adults' job to stand up for our students! If we all have negative attitudes and let our bad days stand in the way of progress, then how are our students ever going to believe in themselves?
Besides if you are tired
then the problem must be yours
not the misbehavior
I see this in me when dealing with my own child. I tend to say negative things rather that helpful. I have found myself stopping and thinking about what I say before I do it.
It is so true that words can really hurt children and shape them into something they are not.
Theresa, I agree with you! I spent an hour at VVMS today talking with the teachers of one of our former students. They couldn't see beyond the negative and their reactions had pushed the student into proving them right. They were missing the "light" that the student had to offer. It was great to be able to help the student shine for them.
I believe it's part of our 'vocation' to find the 'good' and the 'light' in every child. Jo's right. On the days when it's difficult to do so, the problem must lie within us, not the child. Whenever I start getting 'bugged' I always think to myself, "look with new eyes". It lengthens my short fuse and softens my quick judgment.
I do agree with this. We need to step back and look at how we perceive things. We seem to get judgemental regarding how our students act and how other adults act. I like the statement that "all of us are valuable in our own right, regardless of our act".
This statement never corrects the behavior. A child will think "If she's tired of seeing me behave this way, I'll make sure she doesn't see me doing it then" It's also the same way when you ask someone to stop a negative behavior. When you say "No blurting out" - the student hears "I think she said blurting out!" Be careful how you word your requests!
It has been demonstrated that if 10 people witness an incident, there will be 10 different perspectives of what happened. In our busy days it may be hard to step back and take a longer look at just what we are “seeing”. I also think we need to be cognizant that our students will see a situation or behavior from their perspective and act accordingly.
This hits home with a few of our students and hearing conversations about them. It is possible to see students as troublemakers when it is a cry out for help. Perception is truly a choice.
I also liked this chapter. How we perceive each student is totally up to us. It made me think of when the new class lists come out and how we may get a preconceived notion about a child just because of things other teachers may have said about them. You are already expecting that child to misbehave...and they will.
It is far easier to criticize than it is to look outside the box and reevaluate what is happening. I believe that teachers and parents should make a better effort to look for the positive, rather than what could be wrong.
This selection hit home with me! When I react negatively toward a student for their words or actions, I need to check my own perception. I do believe that we are all much more than "our act" and that most of us just want to be loved and accepted.
This comment has been removed by the author.
I once heard the saying "Stop acting your age!" as a joke to a child, but it really hit home with me. That is exactly what children should do, act their ages, have fun, and even test their boundaries. As educators, we have an opportunity to not judge their behavior but shape and mold it with positive words. Some kids crave attention and they will seek it whether it is positive or negative.
I also agree with this message and know it to be true in the classroom and in our personal lives. I believe that we learn from every experience whether we view it as positive, or a negative lesson. However, it is much easier to deal with life when we look at experiences as blessings rather than problems. As a result, when we step back and ask "What is this message telling me"? Our observations and our experiences take on a whole new meaning.
During the beginning of each year you always hear from parents and teachers about certain students who will be attending your class and are perceived in a negative way. I listen respectfully, but in the end when these students arrive in my classroom they all have a clean slate in our learning environment. I have found that what works best with students who have behavior issues is listen to them and help guide them to make a change in their life. It takes time, persistence and patience from the teacher. The student makes the change because they have trust in you and you took the time to listen, care about them, and guided them in correcting a behavior which transformed them into a more positive and confident person in the learning environment.
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