Sunday, November 9, 2008

How can you both get what you want?

20 Comments:

At November 9, 2008 at 10:18 AM , Blogger Janet said...

First graders are very egocentric and have a hard time seeing things from another persons perspective. I think having them verbalize to each other what they each need in a situation will help. They will probably still have trouble coming up with a solution that solves both peoples issues. I think this will take some work but it is a good goal!

 
At November 9, 2008 at 12:56 PM , Blogger Kip said...

This strategy works well with students who are learning social skills and learning how to transition from a self centered learning perspective to a community centered learning environment. When students are guided to share their ideas about what they want, they often find out that they all have the same end goal in mind.

 
At November 9, 2008 at 4:44 PM , Blogger Valerie Castellano said...

I agree with Janet-- our youngsters are very egocentric and it is so easy for us teachers to simply decide a solution and command that to the students. I enjoyed this portion because it does encourage teamwork and problem solving together. It reinforces the idea that they don't always need an adult to solve their problems and that they really have many solutions already in their minds. For me, I need to take the time to allow peers and small groups to have this dialogue together. It will help them build problem solving skills, self-confidence, and responsibility as a learner and friend.

 
At November 9, 2008 at 5:59 PM , Blogger lbarker said...

I had to make sure every sees this thought from a different book. It really made me think.
"How would it change your teaching if I told you that YOU are the message? Not the content. Not the curriculum. Not the textbook. Those things are just the water you’re splashing around in. What are students learning about how to splash in water from watching you, the splasher? You are the message."

SOMETHING to think about.

 
At November 10, 2008 at 10:54 AM , Blogger dleggitt said...

"You always have to have it your way" are words often heard among kids. Kids hate to compromise because in their minds it means losing something they want. When we teach kids to work towards a common goal then no one loses! Compromising encourages cooperation and makes everyone winners!

 
At November 10, 2008 at 7:21 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Linda,
That is an awesome quote! Thanks for sharing it!

 
At November 12, 2008 at 11:31 AM , Blogger Patty said...

I agree with Linda. Kids learn more by our example than anything else. What are we modeling? It makes you think...

 
At November 12, 2008 at 8:35 PM , Blogger Sue Bast said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At November 14, 2008 at 8:40 AM , Blogger Sarah said...

Some of the Leadership Team attended a conference last week called L to Bell to J by Lee Jenkins. One of the concepts we learned was about creating classroom group goals. As a class, they work to reach their "all time best". Beating your score by one point makes it your all time best then as a group they celebrate. One example was when a class reached their all time best they called another teacher/staff member into their class to lead the Toddy Ta song. (If you don't know about the Toddy Ta song ask a Kindergarten teacher). The kids love it! Having the students work together so they all succeed and contribute to the all time best is very powerful. The students charted their own learning and encouraged others so as a classroom team they succeed.

 
At November 14, 2008 at 8:45 AM , Blogger Sarah said...

I forgot to tell you to ask Janet how she has changed spelling in her classroom. Ask Karen how she is applying the L to Bell to J in to her classroom. Linda is starting to use the concept with students in the computer lab on their typing.

Another major idea from the Lee Jenkins conference is how we give students permission to forget. We will talk more about this as a faculty.

 
At November 15, 2008 at 8:33 AM , Blogger Kathy McHale said...

I really like this idea of having the students work together to come up with a solution that allows them both to get what they want. Too often we think in terms of either or, then only one person gets what they want. The emphasis on stating what you want, not what you don't want, helps to focus attention on a solution that will allow for both people to be satisfied. I also like the way the teacher allowed time for the students to figure this out without her, but said she would check back with them.

 
At November 16, 2008 at 6:40 PM , Blogger Gail Fortune said...

Sounds like the Lee Jenkins conference was awesome. I can't wait to hear more about it. I liked the idea in this section about helping children redefine problems in terms of wants and needs instead of winners and losers.

 
At November 18, 2008 at 12:48 PM , Blogger Dawn Gorman said...

I agree with Debbie that kids always want it their way. This even applies with Claire. I am always trying to teach her that we both can be winners if we give a little. We need to teach them to get along with others and be willing to share.

 
At November 23, 2008 at 7:31 PM , Blogger Sue Bast said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At November 23, 2008 at 8:08 PM , Blogger Sue Bast said...

Using this statement provides a win - win situation. By having the students work out a situation it lets them understand the others position. It also puts the responsiblity back onto the students to resolve the problem.

 
At November 24, 2008 at 3:05 PM , Blogger christy wagner said...

I tie this together with "Every Problem has a Solution". My students seem to react better if I focus on how to solve the problem than the problem itself.

 
At November 24, 2008 at 3:49 PM , Blogger sueb said...

Linda's comment is powerful!! We are so visible to our students and how we act and talk impacts their thinking a great deal! I need to be reminded that who I am to each student really is as important or even more important than what I am teaching them!

 
At November 30, 2008 at 8:36 AM , Blogger tnicks said...

I see this in my classroom all the time. Looping has really been interesting because last year I didn't see the arguing as much as I have this year. They relate to each other like brothers and sisters and they always want to be right. We have worked a lot on dealing with arguments in a more mature manner and usually the kids come to an agreement on their own.

 
At December 2, 2008 at 12:25 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I really liked and enjoyed reading this article. There are certainly times at school when students do not agree on something and neither one wants to compromise. I feel that this social skill, is a skill that needs to be worked on just the same as reading or math or any other academic area. Everyone benefits from good social interaction and compromise at times so everyone gets what they want. I am sure there are times when a variation of this might also be used successfully between student and teacher.

 
At December 3, 2008 at 8:04 AM , Blogger mb said...

I agree with Janet's comment. I think if we start early, students eventually will improve the skill of looking at situations from various perspectives.

 

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