Don't talk to me like that!
posted by Sarah @ 5:42 AM
6 Comments
Thursday, February 19, 2009
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6 Comments:
Power struggles are lose - lose situations. It is easy to sucker into them but they never end well. Respectful communication eliminates power struggles - When placed in this situation the response that works the best for me is - I hear your emotions not your words, rewind please, share your words with me so I can support you. My kids have responded well to this format - I am validating that they are emotionally responding to a situation and letting them know that I want to help but I can't until they communicate appropriately with me.
My students do respond at times with inappropriate statements. I have learned to wait until they are calm and then discuss the appropriate feedback.
I struggle with other peoples perceptions of this. My students can be disrespectful and I know that it is the emotionally driven not really intentional disrespect. I will be using Karen's words "I hear your emotions not your words, rewind please". One thing I have truly learned this year is to validate students emotions.
I agree totally with Christy. In fact, at times with some of her kids I act as if I didn't even hear what they said. Karen's "rewind" cue is a classic in my opinion - Thanks Karen! I think I will work on using with myself as well as with the kids.
When a student talks to me inappropriately, I usually make some light-hearted comment or one filled with enough sarcasm (such as "Excuse me?" or "I am not sure I just heard you correctly"), that the child has a second to come back to reality, and remember what he/she is saying or doing. Then most often the response, is "Opps, I mean...". Pressure is off and we move on.
This reminds us of how to avoid the classic power struggle and how to redirect kids in a way that gets to the crux of the problem.
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