Why did you do that?
posted by Sarah @ 10:30 AM
6 Comments
Saturday, October 18, 2008
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6 Comments:
So often students at the elementary level live in the moment and truly don't think before they act. Personally, I think it can be one of the most endearing (and at times hilarious) qualities that children have. Unfortunately, the school setting is not often the place for this spontaneous response. Dana Carvey had a hilarious bit about his 7 year old acting before thinking and having no idea why he did what he did. I always assume that a child probably doesn't realize why some choices were made, but discussing why the behavior or action needs to change is important.
I like this phrase but totally agree that timing is everything when using it. Allowing a student to reflect back on a situation or behavior can be a valuable part of the learning process. However, I think extreme care needs to be taken in both tone and timing. The phrase could be seen as an attack and place the student on the defensive.
Tone and body language is critical to our relationships! Our students deserve for us to see them as innocent until proven guilty instead of the other way around! Again, timing is everything!!! We must stop and think before responding. What a great exercise for me.....AHHHHHH!
I think that if this phrase is used right after something occurs, especially if the student is already embarrassed, it can cause more harm than good. Approaching the student privately, perhaps a little bit later after the event, might be more effective.
Besides which, when there is a large student population of ADHD, there will be a lack of "think before I act" and more impulsiveness.
We need to show students that "Why" is not a prelude to criticism but a general curiosity and maybe a teachable moment for them.
Most of the time the "why" is beside the point. If they made a poor choice, they made a poor choice and it doesn't really matter why, so why dwell on it? "Why did you do that?" just elicits all kinds of excuses which don't help things at all.
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