I like the technique of asking is this helpful or unhelpful because it leaves the door open for students to express to the teacher if something is really wrong or bullying is really occurring, rather than sending the message that it is never OK to ask an adult for help.
I agree with Kip that we keep that line of communication open with our students. I also like the idea of using index cards for the new ideas we are learning, thanks Gail.
There is a fine line between telling and tattling and I go over that in my classroom from day one. I want to make sure that the kids know that I need to hear when someone is hurting another child either physically or emotionally. I don't ever want them to hesitate to tell me because I have shut them down by saying "don't tattle." The little ones don't always know where to take the information they get so I explain and model when to "tattle" and when to leave well enough alone! Kids need us more and more with the way society is shifting the role of parents! If they don't have them and then we turn them away who will they turn to? I am a softie when it comes to kids and having their needs met! I always think of my own little daughters and hope while they are at school they have a safe place to go and be heard when necessary.
Ditto to what Gwenn said...I find with the younger students, explaining this difference can be challenging! In some instances, they believe they are being helpful, when reality the situation is not an emergency. I think you're right in needing to go over this lesson again and again and again-- this also makes me think of the number of students who are just looking for some attention, love, and someone to talk to. I can only imagine that many of these students lack this forum for dialogue at home, when many parents are "unavailable" for kids to talk to. However, in order to maximize our teaching time, we do need to teach this importance difference!
Defining the difference between telling and tattling to five year olds is a constant occurance, but they do get it. It does start to sink in. Just the other day, a student came up to me, started to say something, then said, "never mind, I was tattling to get someone in trouble". I also like the idea given to us at a kindergarten connections meeting to have a play phone as a "tattle phone". They leave a message for the teacher to listen later and take care of it after school. I thought that was very funny.
I discussed this with my daughter the brand new kindergarten teacher. Now I am going to have to get her a copy of the book! Here is something cute that she does when kids insist their information does matter: they "write it down" and feed it to the Tattle Turtle (something she got at IKEA) Then she checks to see if she can figure out what they were trying to say :-)
Interesting. I know that when teachers pick their classes up from the library, we've often had conversations about too much tattling. It is good to have some new tools to deal with it and a new perspective.
This is a gentle way of helping the student think about whether they are telling or tattling. I talk to my students at the beginning of the year, as well, so they understand when it is important for an adult to know something or when it is just tattling. However, there may be an underlying reason that a student is telling a teacher something. Children should be acknowledged and using this technique can help them to distinguish whether they really have something important they need to share with an adult.
I would like to think that by 6th grade, most students know the difference between tattling and relaying important information about their classmates. I sometimes have the opposite problem of tattling. By 6th grade, many students do not report bullying for fear of being teased. I often find out indirectly.
I, too, felt a sense of relief when I read that tattling is going to happen, accept it, and lean into it. Remembering this will boost my patience with the regular tattlers. I also believe that we can't shut students down, and need to make them feel like they can talk to us without reprimand. There is absolutely a need to constantly clarify what is tattling and what isn't.
I agree with Peggy, by 6th grade it is often impossible to get any information out of some students. They view it as "ratting out" their friends. The more "popular" a student is perceived, the less information you will obtain. After reading, "Okay, who did it?" it makes sense to not care about who did it, but concentrate more about what happened.
I have this problem all the time. Kids tell on each other in PE all day it seems like. I like some of the strategies. I will need to use them in my class. They tell all the time when someone hits them or cuts in line or the drinking fountain. Hopefully these will help out
One thing I like about "Make Your Day" that we use at Village Vista is the concerns. That way the "use words" can be put into effect. If kids have issues with one another, instead of tattling, they say they have a concern, face each other and discuss it. Then they can take responsibility where it falls. This seems to be pretty effective.
15 Comments:
I like the technique of asking is this helpful or unhelpful because it leaves the door open for students to express to the teacher if something is really wrong or bullying is really occurring, rather than sending the message that it is never OK to ask an adult for help.
I agree with Kip that we keep that line of communication open with our students. I also like the idea of using index cards for the new ideas we are learning, thanks Gail.
There is a fine line between telling and tattling and I go over that in my classroom from day one. I want to make sure that the kids know that I need to hear when someone is hurting another child either physically or emotionally. I don't ever want them to hesitate to tell me because I have shut them down by saying "don't tattle." The little ones don't always know where to take the information they get so I explain and model when to "tattle" and when to leave well enough alone! Kids need us more and more with the way society is shifting the role of parents! If they don't have them and then we turn them away who will they turn to? I am a softie when it comes to kids and having their needs met! I always think of my own little daughters and hope while they are at school they have a safe place to go and be heard when necessary.
Ditto to what Gwenn said...I find with the younger students, explaining this difference can be challenging! In some instances, they believe they are being helpful, when reality the situation is not an emergency. I think you're right in needing to go over this lesson again and again and again-- this also makes me think of the number of students who are just looking for some attention, love, and someone to talk to. I can only imagine that many of these students lack this forum for dialogue at home, when many parents are "unavailable" for kids to talk to. However, in order to maximize our teaching time, we do need to teach this importance difference!
I am finally in the Blogger, so I will be adding my comments soon.
Defining the difference between telling and tattling to five year olds is a constant occurance, but they do get it. It does start to sink in. Just the other day, a student came up to me, started to say something, then said, "never mind, I was tattling to get someone in trouble". I also like the idea given to us at a kindergarten connections meeting to have a play phone as a "tattle phone". They leave a message for the teacher to listen later and take care of it after school. I thought that was very funny.
I discussed this with my daughter the brand new kindergarten teacher. Now I am going to have to get her a copy of the book! Here is something cute that she does when kids insist their information does matter: they "write it down" and feed it to the Tattle Turtle (something she got at IKEA) Then she checks to see if she can figure out what they were trying to say :-)
I forgot to mention that I love the part where the book advises " accept [this process] and lean into it" enjoy
Interesting. I know that when teachers pick their classes up from the library, we've often had conversations about too much tattling. It is good to have some new tools to deal with it and a new perspective.
This is a gentle way of helping the student think about whether they are telling or tattling. I talk to my students at the beginning of the year, as well, so they understand when it is important for an adult to know something or when it is just tattling. However, there may be an underlying reason that a student is telling a teacher something. Children should be acknowledged and using this technique can help them to distinguish whether they really have something important they need to share with an adult.
I would like to think that by 6th grade, most students know the difference between tattling and relaying important information about their classmates. I sometimes have the opposite problem of tattling. By 6th grade, many students do not report bullying for fear of being teased. I often find out indirectly.
I, too, felt a sense of relief when I read that tattling is going to happen, accept it, and lean into it. Remembering this will boost my patience with the regular tattlers. I also believe that we can't shut students down, and need to make them feel like they can talk to us without reprimand. There is absolutely a need to constantly clarify what is tattling and what isn't.
I agree with Peggy, by 6th grade it is often impossible to get any information out of some students. They view it as "ratting out" their friends. The more "popular" a student is perceived, the less information you will obtain. After reading, "Okay, who did it?" it makes sense to not care about who did it, but concentrate more about what happened.
I have this problem all the time. Kids tell on each other in PE all day it seems like. I like some of the strategies. I will need to use them in my class. They tell all the time when someone hits them or cuts in line or the drinking fountain. Hopefully these will help out
One thing I like about "Make Your Day" that we use at Village Vista is the concerns. That way the "use words" can be put into effect. If kids have issues with one another, instead of tattling, they say they have a concern, face each other and discuss it. Then they can take responsibility where it falls. This seems to be pretty effective.
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